New, what I want.

This is my first real blog. I had to do one for German at school, but that wasn't really, you know, proper. I'm not really too sure what I am going to write here yet.

Being back in London these last couple of weeks has been good; at Christmas I went slightly crazy, but this time I've had a nice time. It has given me time to think, and breathe, but in a good way. I've seen my family, and seen friends that I haven't seen in a really long time. I have also come to a conclusion:

I have a lot of close male friends, and I've realised that at some point or other in my life, I have been romantically involved with them in some way-though to very different extents. And some I have always been, and always will be, just friends with. Some, well, perhaps one, or maybe two, I realise I still like when I see them. Or realise that I liked a lot more than I thought.

I have a massive capacity for love and all things romantic. I think there are always a lot of people that could be deemed as 'right' for you. It depends what is going on in your life at the time. I think my problem is that I can see potential in a lot of people - I like quite a lot of different things and I never like to label myself, or anyone else for that matter. So there are a lot of people that would suit me and my character. I say a lot, I mean a select, lovely few; but still a few. This poses problems, and often means that I'm never satisfied.

I want to be satisfied, though.

At the same time, I am incredibly picky. And I get bored VERY quickly, I need to be kept on my toes. I want someone who can level with me interests-wise, but not someone exactly like me. I want someone with passion about something cool. I want someone who is at least mildly intelligent. I want someone who respects me, but will debate with me, and not back down at the smallest sign of 'banter.' I want someone who is not afraid to tell me the truth. Someone who gives me the right amount of compliments, and who I am insanely attracted to.

Thing is, maybe I shouldn't be so picky? I don't know. I find it all very confusing. If you aren't sure whether to make something really something with someone, should you just go for it? Or should you just leave it? That is, if there is even anybody in your life for you to choose from. We all have dry patches.

I love this poem by Wendy Cope:

Bloody Men

Bloody men are like bloody buses —
You wait for about a year
And as soon as one approaches your stop
Two or three others appear.

You look at them flashing their indicators,
Offering you a ride.
You’re trying to read the destinations,
You haven’t much time to decide.

If you make a mistake, there is no turning back.
Jump off, and you’ll stand there and gaze
While the cars and the taxis and lorries go by
And the minutes, the hours, the days.